‘Under the Weather’
As I sit here at noon on a Wednesday, my home has been enveloped by a huge dark cloud once again and the rain is misting out the houses across the street. It is utterly miserable and I am going to have to turn the daylight stimulation bulb on any minute before I give up on the day altogether. The ground is already saturated out there and I can hear the cars driving through the laying water on the road outside, oh and then there’s the wind. All in all I think maybe today was a day for staying in bed and dreaming of Spring.
I am an Allotmenteer, I’m a photographer and dog owner and thus this weather somewhat rings the death knell on all of that. There is only so much joy you can get from thinking about doing those things that make you happy; it’s the getting out and doing it really puts a smile on my face and a song in my heart. However my allotment is a swamp, I have started to term the conditions there as ‘quicksoil'; it simply sucks you down and I swear you could lose tools in there, if not a limb!
I gain joy, a sense of pride, a feeling of hope from the act of growing my own. This is such a treasure and is made all the more priceless when you learn that I am a chronic depressive and someone who suffers from suicidal feelings and acute anxiety. My life is a daily battle with the dark, searching for some hope, some joy to grasp on to and fuel my fight and let me tell you winter is my biggest enemy. I am sure that for you the time has come when the planning and dreaming of what you wish to achieve in your garden this year has become more frustration than excitement; we want to get on with it already!
Seeds, I love seeds. I love those little bits of dead looking nothing that come bursting into life with some soil, warmth and a little water. That green tip pushing through the surface, searching out the sunlight, so bright and fresh and screaming of a new start and hope. There is little in this world that is more glorious, more satisfying than being a parent and watching our young grow and flourish, protecting them, nurturing them and then finally eating them.
Ahh but spring is coming, in the battle of the seasons she always conquers over winter. I have my stash of flower and vegetable seeds at the ready and my potatoes are chitting. Each day sees the sunlight last just that fraction longer and soon, soon my friends we shall get back out into nature, we shall dig the soil, feed it, grow plants, tend to them and all will be right with the world again. Can you feel it? The sadness is lifting, there is a new riot of colour getting ready in those bulbs we planted last year, the trees are getting dressed once more and hope, hope is in the air!
You can read my blog here: http://growourown.blogspot.com/